As Long As You're Happy
by ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl
Summary: It hurts the most when you love someone who loves someone else. Phil Lester had been in love with his flatmate Dan Howell ever since they met. However, when Dan gets a girlfriend how will Phil react? Read to see life through Phil's eyes and how the story unfolds. Danisnotonfire & AmazingPhil c: P.S: Thanks to those on Twitter who helped take part in it! Includes Phan in the end c:
1. The Downfall

**Saturday Morning**

**8:13am**

"Phil, wake up, lazy ass. You told me you would make me pancakes this morning." I opened my eyes slowly to see none other than my brown-haired flatmate, Daniel Howell. Though, if I ever called him anything other than Dan, he would probably put flour in my hairdryer again—even if it was just for a prank.

"Hmm. What time is it?" I yawned and slumped deeper into my covers. I heard him sigh and walk to the other side of the room. It got quiet for a minute so I cautiously peeked out from my covers to see him staring out of the window. The sun was just beginning to peek out and it shone a ray of sunlight that made his hair look beautiful—magical.

It was true. Ever since I met Dan online I couldn't help but have a certain attraction to him that I shouldn't. We were just friends, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting more. Was it his sarcastic humor? Maybe his shining almond eyes that pulled me in? I don't know. All I do know is that I love him. Sadly enough, my feelings were pointless. There was no way he could return what I had for him. He liked women. Don't get me wrong—I had liked women my whole life also. It's just...when I met him my whole world changed.

"Idiot." Dan muttered from the window, completely interrupting my thoughts. "You don't even know what today is, do you?" My heart stopped. What could today possibly be? It wasn't his birthday, that was in June and it was mid December. It's not the anniversary in which we met, I would have definitely remembered that and it wasn't "Delia Smith Day" which we made up a couple weeks back...so what else could it be?

"Dan...uh...actually-"

"Just kidding. It's Throw-A-Totoro-At-Phil day. Muahaha." And suddenly my giant Totoro came flying at me full speed.

"Dan!" I playfully yelled and threw off the covers and stood up. He smiled a bit and made his way to under the door frame.

"No really though, I'm expecting pancakes in ten minutes." he blatantly said and shuffled awkwardly off in his socks. I sighed. I knew this was going to be a long day already.

I rubbed my eyes and got out of my bed. I looked around my room. It was fairly messy. Maybe that's why Dan doesn't like coming in here too often. He was a really articulate guy. Things always had to be neat and tidy—symmetrical. I always bother him when I accidentally leave all the cabinets open while making food; I can't help it. I hope I don't bother him too much.

I walked down the hall to the kitchen and the smell of freshly brewed tea hit me in the face. I look to see Dan pouring two cups.

"Well, look who's capable of making his own tea." I joked and started to the fridge. He chuckled a bit.

"Someone was taking an eternity to get out of bed, so I had no other choice really." He handed me a cup.

"Awww, how sweet." I sipped the tea and immediately spit it out. "Dan! What is in this tea!"

"Oh, just the usual...water, tea leaves, salt..."

"Salt!"

"Muahahaha." he laughed and wiggled off towards the living room. What was with him this morning? He was being extra playful. I ignored it and started his pancakes. A couple of minutes passed and I started mixing the batter. I looked up to see Dan had claimed the sofa and was on his laptop.

"What are you checking?" I asked him, watching his expression turn to like he was about to laugh of something.

"I'm checking Twitter...oh god." he was laughing then. I put the whisk down (someone finally sent us one) and started off towards to see what was so funny.

" MaryTheDanosaur photo shopped my face onto a llama and captioned it 'I get all the bitches' and then it shows like 10 Chihuahuas with your face on them; all with different expressions. Hahaha!" he was practically 'rofl-ing' now.

"What's that supposed to mean!" I knew it was a joke, but I couldn't help but wonder if all of our "Phans" out there that shipped us could tell that I loved Dan, but he didn't feel the same. I left Dan and returned to making pancakes.

"Your fans are so perverted. Mine all like lions and cake and innocent things." I joked as I put the batter In the frying pan.

"They're not _alllll _perverted." he replied, sipping his tea again.

"Oh yeah? Let me see." I went and stole the laptop from him and clicked on his mentions.

"From MelissaGrayy: Penis, Dan. Penis, penis, penis." I said monotone like and held back a smile, "And, oh look. She spammed you with this like ten times followed by 'Please seductively eat Maltesers like you eat Phil's...'—wait what the hell? I'm not reading that! See Dan, all of these are perverted."

"...So?" he smiled slightly, "Phil...what's that smell?"

"Oh crap; the pancakes!" I run back to the frying pan to see the pancake nearly charcoal black. Dan peaked from behind me and stared at the disaster. "...Sorry?"

"You're not even capable of making pancakes!" Dan's voice pitched a bit higher than usual. He laughed then and side hugged me. "Don't worry about it...and sinc you'v already ruined that, I have something to tell you." He guided me over to the sofa and sat me down.

"What is it?" I felt my eyes tremble. Dan is hardly ever really serious like that. He took a seat next to me and looked me in the eyes. I stared back into his almond colored eyes. They looked concerned and sort of regretful. He broke the eye contact for a moment to take a deep breath and then looked back towards me.

"Phil, do you remember when we went to the Manchester Shopping District last week?" I nodded, "Do you remember that girl we met?"

"Yeah, Nami right?" Dan and I had went shopping last week and ended up at a bar. Reluctantly enough, I stayed with him as he drank and talked to all these women. One girl in particular stood out to him I guess. She had brunette wavy hair, green eyes and was a couple inches shorter than him. I don't think it was her look that intrigued him, but her personality. She was so bright and bubbly; she practically lit up the room. Dan got her number and I have no doubt that he's been talking to her.

"Yeah...what do you think of her?" he shifted uncomfortably.

"She's nice...why?"

He paused for a moment.

_"Because she's my girlfriend now."_

I remember my first time talking to Dan. He was so sarcastic and hilarious in everything. Up until then I didn't really have a, so to say, 'best friend'. I practically woke up every day just to talk to him. We would go on about our favorite movies and video games and making Delia Smith impressions. It was great. My life got even better when he said yes to my invitation to live with me in my flat.

It wasn't until one night that we were watching Kill Bill together that it finally hit me that I was in love with him. As cheesy as it may sound, he's my everything.

But all chances of my complete happiness was taken away then.

I felt my heart sink into a blackness that words can't describe. My whole body felt numb and defeated as if I just died right there and then. I tried my best to smile for him, instead I felt my whole expression display complete devastation. Silence echoed in the room for about two minutes until I uttered enough will to speak.

"I'm happy for you." was all I could manage to choke out, Dan looked at me even more concerned than before. I knew I should try to be more encouraging.

"I mean, that's great! _As long as you're happy_." I diverted my eyes and shifted.

"Thanks, buddy." he ruffled my hair as he stood up. "I just wanted to let you know is all. Oh, and did Tesco come yet? I want my freaking Pom-Bears."

I shook my head and just sat there staring into oblivion. How was I suppose to live knowing the person I love is in love with another?

What would happen to the "Phan" base? Would Dan tell them? They'd find out sooner or later. All those Danosaurs would be tweeting him things about him and Nami now as opposed of me. As weird as it sounds, all those fanmade videos and tweets for Phan made me smile and it gave me a sort of hope.

What could I do now?

* * *

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


	2. Days Following

The next couple days dragged on horribly. Now that Dan was dating Nami she was always over visiting. I don't mind it too much; she's a really nice person. What bothers me is the way Dan looks at her. The sparkle in his eyes and way his lips curve up ever-so slightly. He watches her every movement with such an interest. It was like he didn't want to miss one little thing.

During this, I usually spent my time on the computer in my room. Twitter and Tumblr became my life pretty much. I replied to Philions way more than I used to and they realized this.

They also noticed Dan's absence. He was lacking in making videos and even just tweeting anything. Our fans knew something was wrong, but I decided to just cover it up with tweets like, "Sorry guys! Dan has been really busy with thing lately! He'll be back soon (^_^) -throws cookies**-"**

About three weeks passed when things changed...well I changed. One day Dan and I even fought about it.

"Nami, would you mind going out and picking up some Maltesers? Pleaaaase?" Dan smiled as he sat on the couch, finally going through his Twitter (which took some convincing.) I sat in the further corner of the room on my laptop, pretending like I wasn't listening.

"Pftt! You're so lazy!" she laughed and put on her coat. It was snowing slightly outside. "But I guess I can go, I need to pick up some stuff anyways. Phil, do you want anything?"

"No." I muttered and pretended like I was interested in something online. She frowned and left.

"What is with you?" Dan sat up and put his laptop on the coffee table. He looked upset. I decided to not answer and just stare at my computer screen, which didn't make him any happier. "Well!"  
"It's nothing." I muttered. He stomped over to where I was and took a hold of my shoulders and glared into my eyes. I looked away and tried not to blush at the contact.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Phil. You've been so to yourself lately...it's like you're not even here-"

"Shut up, Dan!" I couldn't take it. He was the one who made it to where it was impossible for me to even appear visible to them. "You're the one that makes it like that for me!" I I pounced back and stood my ground. His eyes widened and his grip loosened. He cleared is throat and stood back and sighed.

"Listen, Phil...when I asked you if you were ok with Nami, you said you were. So I don't know what you're so pissed off about." I couldn't believe it! He didn't even care that we hadn't spent any time together like we used to at all. We had missed two episodes of Doctor Who and we hadn't re-watched Kill Bill last Saturday like we always do. He was to busy with Nami.

"Of course I would say I was, Daniel! You're my friend. What am I gonna say? 'No I hate her'? She's a very nice girl to be honest...but you...I can't do this anymore." I couldn't stop the tears that suddenly sprung to my eyes. I quickly went and got my coat and ran from the flat.

"Phil!" Dan yelled after me. I ignored him. He doesn't need me. He has his precious girlfriend now. I ran completely out of the building and began to wander the streets of Manchester. My heart hurt the whole way I wandered to Manchester's shopping district. It was 9pm and cold. The snow fell as if it was in slow motion as my running slowed down to a crawl nearly. Everything hurt. I felt numb; lifeless.

I must have looked like an idiot in the middle of the shopping district like that. I just stayed in that crawl position as I stared at the pavement. Tears streamed from my face and fell into miniature puddles.

"umm, maybe it's not be my business...but if you don't move, you're gonna get run over, dude." I looked up and saw a red haired girl about 20 smiling back at me, a bit concerned.

"I don't care." I muttered and continued to sigh there. She chuckled a bit before grabbing my arm.

"C'mon get up. Feeling down today?" she pulled me to my feet, but my eyes remained staring at the floor.

"You could say that." suddenly another girl was running at me full speed. "Whoa!" I took a step back and the girl stopped. She appeared to be about 14.

"Oh my gawd! AmazingPhil! Kyaaa!" Great. She was a Philion. Exactly what I needed at the moment. I just stood there and smiled. "Have you been crying! Are you ok! WHAT DID DAN DO!"

"Whoa calm down. I'm not crying...it's the snow." I lied, "And why would you think it was Dan's fault?"

"Just a guess." she continued rambling on how she wanted my picture and me to sign this and that; which I did. The red-haired girl standing there all the while. When the random Philion left she just laughed.

"So you famous or something? Hahaha."

"Uhh, my name can be found on the interwebs. Why did you wait?"

"Gotcha. I dunno. I don't have anything better to do and you seem like a pretty nice guy who could use some help feeling better. Wanna grab some coffee?"

"It's nearly 11pm, are you sure?"

"Yeah, why not?"

We walked off towards Starbucks, but I couldn't help but be thinking about Dan


	3. The Unexpected Meeting

When we entered Starbucks we were instantly hit by the warmth of the place. It smelled of caramel and their new Christmas drinks that were in season. We stood in line and ordered. I couldn't get passed the fact that I was out drinking coffee with a person I didn't even know the name of. We went and took a seat on the couch that Dan had owned when he had said, "I own this bitch." our last trip here.

"So what's been eating at ya?" she said, sipping her eggnog carefully. She wore a gray beanie, an oversized black sweat shirt, gray skinny jeans, and converse. She also had a heart locket around her neck.

"Oh, well..." I tried to think of were to start. I barely know her, so it should be fine to rant to her I suppose. It could be like free therapy. "...to put it simply, the person I love is in love with someone else." The girl nodded understandingly. She rolled her hands signaling for me to continue.

I told her all about Dan and I. How we met, our similarities, our differences, his personality, our career, and most of all...my undying love for him. I hadn't told her Dan's name though. She sat there listening, not interrupting once. It wasn't until she looked up at me that I noticed her eyes looked a bit blank, and were gray.

"So why are you all alone here this evening and not telling him how you feel? Who gives a fuck about the other chick? If you love him, tell him. And besides, he just met this girl, right? Chances are, he just thinks he's in love with her." she made it sound so simple; so easy. She took the complication away.

"Who are you..? I mean, what's your story?" I asked, finishing off my eggnog. She glanced down quickly and gritted her teeth.

"That's none of your concern."

"But I just told you about me. I don't even know your name." I paused and realized some people staring oddly at us, how rude. "Look, you don't wanna tell me about yourself, fine. At least tell me about the heart locket around your neck. It looks interesting." She thought a minute before puffing her cheeks out and sighing, indicating she gave in.

"I got this locket by someone very dear to my heart. He was my one true love. We had met in high school. He was the class clown; always calling out and making funny remarks. I was that one weird girl that everyone thought just wanted attention. I had started cutting myself my Freshman year and never wore anything but my favorite black jacket, jeans, and my gray beanie that my father gave me before he died. It didn't help that in my Sophomore year I had dyed my hair cherry red.

I was lucky enough to have one class with my crush Sophomore year. I remember watching him from afar as the prettier girls flirted with him and whatnot. One day during lunch a random girl just came up and kissed him. I couldn't take it for some reason. I had made it up in my head that he was mine. I ran behind the football bleachers and cried. I remember sitting there feeling so alone, like no one cared and no one ever will. That's when I heard someone clear their voice. I looked up and saw him standing right there.

He took a seat besides me and we talked. When he asked what was wrong I just told him someone dear to me would never notice me. That's when he somehow noticed my scars peeking out from my sweatshirt sleeve. I tried to pull away, but he pulled the sleeve farther up, revealing all of them. The next thing that happened...was probably the greatest moment of my life."

I sat there staring at her disbelievingly. My problems are bare to none of what she's been through. I hung onto every word. "well? What happened next?"

Tears streamed down her face.

"He had taken out a Sharpie and wrote "You're Beautiful." right across my arm, almost completely covering the scars." she broke down crying then. I sat there staring into my empty mug just taking it all in. "Days following, I had received a note in my locker from him and that's what is folded up inside this locket. But the problem is...I don't remember what is written on it."

"Well just open it up and see!"

"No!" she shot back, "I promised myself that the only person can open it now is him. The same day he left that note in my locker is the day he moved away."

"Well, what's his name? Maybe I can help find him?"

"I don't remember." she cried. "I've been wandering all of Manchester in hopes of stumbling upon him. I know that when I see him, I'll know." she quickly stood up and wiped her tears away. "Uh, sorry about that. I didn't mean to vent. I should be going." she turned to leave but I called after her.

"Wait! At least tell me your name." I pleaded. She smiled slightly and her eyes dimmed. "Fayt." she whispered.

"Will I ever see you again?"

"Who knows..." she walked off with her arms behind her head, "See ya, Phil." she exited the building. I ran after her, but when I got outside she was gone. I looked up at the stars then, wondering why she had stumbled into my life. "Fayt..." I mumbled.

I decided to go back to Dan and I's flat. Fayt was right, I need to tell him how I feel. No matter if he doesn't feel the same. _Dan...please...I hope you're there alone right now.._

I ran towards home. My shoes slapping the ground as I ran. My breathing got heavy, but that just motivated me to run faster. My mind was racing 100 miles per hour. _Please...be home alone, Dan.. I need to tell you. _Flashbacks of my talk with Fayt were replaying in my mind.

**"_I was that one girl everyone just thought wanted attention..."_**

Five minutes away from home...

**"**_**I remember sitting there feeling so alone, like no one cared...and no one will."** _

Dan, I'm so close...

"**I looked up and saw him standing there..."**

Please, Dan...**  
**

**_"The next thing that happened...is probably the best thing that ever happened to me."_**

Dan I-

**"_You're beautiful."_**

I love y-

Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, a bright white light flashed. I was running across the road and hadn't bothered to look before crossing. I was so determined to get to Dan. The truck slammed into my body. The impact was unimaginable. I felt my body thrust forward until it skidded to a stop. I lied there motionless. I couldn't move. Couldn't think. I just remember looking up at the falling snow and hoping I could live to tell you my feelings.


	4. Am I A Burden, Dan?

"Yes, his heartbeat is steady now. He's broken a few ribs but he should recover just fine, Mr. Howell." a feminine voice reassured. I couldn't see anything except blackness. I was too tired to even try to open my eyes. Wait-did she say Mr. Howell? Dan!

I heard the door close, indicating the nurse had left. Was Dan still there? I heard a sniffle and a hyperventilated kind of sigh. I heard him pull a chair over next to the hospital bed.

….was he crying?

"Phil...I-I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have let you run out like that." he was bawling now. I had never even seen him shed a tear, let alone sob. The crying went on for quiet a while. I tried to hold onto reality and not fall back into a slumber. You know like when you're having a really good or interesting dream and you're trying to keep it going as long as possible but hear something waking you up in real life? It was like that.

"The nurse says you're going to start getting better, which is great. I've been so worried about you." he held my hand then, "You've been asleep for a week now."

A week! But it had just happened...or it seemed like it. "You took quite the hit from that truck. They said you should have died from the impact...they have no idea how you survived. The doctors say you cheated death and escaped with only a couple broken ribs." he paused for a second. "It was like something was...protecting you, Phil."

Protecting me? What would? My head hurt and I was so close to slipping back asleep. "Who am I kidding. You can't hear me...why am I even talking? If you can hear me...then move your eyebrows." I tried so hard to, but for some reason I couldn't. My body wouldn't listen to me at all.

Dan just became silent then, with exception of a couple sobs. I felt so bad making him cry like that...I guess I am a bother to him after all. "Damn it, Phil!" he suddenly became angry and his sobs got louder. "What the hell were you thinking! Did it not occur to you to look both ways before crossing? You know how I found out about this? Nami was finally walking home and saw it all happen. Why were you running? She thought you were trying to commit suicide, Phil! Fucking suicide!" he put his head on the bed and cried. "Why..." his cries drowned out and my sleepiness got the better of me as I fell back into slumber.

I just remember bit and pieces from there.

"No! You can't take him! Stop!" It was Dan's voice. "He's not dead! Shut up! The nurse said he would be fine! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BRING HIM BACK HERE!" he was sobbing uncontrollably. "PHIL! WAKE UP! PLEASE! YOU C-CAN'T BE...STOP IT!" it sounded like he was fighting off the doctors. "We have so much we haven't done! I'm sorry we haven't watched Doctor Who much lately! I'm sorry we haven't played Sonic in a while, even though I have to take the controller from you sometimes. We haven't done our voice over of Titanic! What about or fans! What about...me, Phil?" he was choking on his own tears. "Put me down! No! Phil! Please! Stop! Phil I-"

Then everything went...white.

"Is he the one you love?" a familiar voice echoed. All I could see was white. Everything felt...calming.

"...Fayt?" I called out. Nothing appeared but she spoke again.

"Hmm? Phil, answer my question."

"...yes. I love him very much."

"And you're sure? He is the one you would give everything for?"

"Of course!"

Suddenly the white faded and I was at a funeral. I saw a lot of my friends and family. Some that I saw right away was Charlie, Alex, Chris, PJ, Molly...they were all dressed in black and crying. I walked past them and continued to where the larger crowd was. There I saw my mum, brother...my family. They were all around a casket. I walked around them...

and saw it to be none other than me inside that casket.

In front of the casket was Dan. He was on his knees and sobbing. Repeating "why?" over and over again.

"Dan!" I yelled. Of course he didn't hear me. "Daaaaan!" I tried to slap him, but my hand went right through him.

"This is your funeral, Phil. Not many people get to see their own funeral." I turn and see Fayt. Everything had stopped; paused. It was quiet except the wind which for some reason continued to blow.

"Fayt...why? Why is this happening? Why are you here?"

"I'm just a figment of your imagination is all..."

Then everything just...faded away again.

I was in the hospital room again. I was just lying in bed like before, except this time I could see. It seemed to be about early morning because the light came in through the window beautifully. It reminded me of the day Dan came in my room to remind me to make him pancakes. I looked to my left to see a bouquet of flowers on the end table next to me. It had a note attached to it.

_Phil,_

_ Get better soon, buddy. When you do I promise we'll catch up on everything we haven't been doing lately. If you wake up while I'm not here, don't worry, I'll be back before you know it._

_p.s: You snore really loud._

_ Love,_

_ Dan._

I laughed at the note. Good ol' Dan. I sat there for a moment. Was this real life? The funeral was just a figment of my imagination just like Fayt said? I'm...alive again? Suddenly, I couldn't control my happiness anymore. I sprung from the hospital bed and ran down the hall. I ran out the entrance of the hospital; it was snowing slightly. I didn't care. I just knew one thing at that moment.

I had to find Dan.


	5. The Truth

Ever since I was a kid, I would do things normal people would think were stupid. For example, talking to my shadow that I believed lead to the 'Shadow Realm'. No one understood me or understood why I did those things. Maybe now was one of those times.

Instead of waiting in my hospital bed for Dan to get back, I was running in the snow in nothing but a hospital gown to find him. I hadn't a thought about the pain; actually I felt nothing. The cold, my pain, my inner thoughts telling me I was an idiot...I blocked them all out and just focused on finding Dan.

And I had a feeling that I knew exactly where he was.

The first time Dan and I met in real life was by this really old bus stop. It had a lamp post next to it in which we carved our names into. I don't know why he would be there right now...I just felt it.

The snow was starting to fall softly and it was becoming night now. The glow from the lamp posts illuminated the fallen snow and made it seem like a Christmas movie. It smelled like burning wood, but the nice kind that would emit from a fireplace. My feet slapped the cold sidewalk as I ran. Finally, I was there.

The bus stop looked just as it had when we first met. The lamp post's light bulb flickered though. I was wrong...Dan wasn't there. I stood there under the lamp post for a minute; all the pain started kicking in. I gasped and grabbed my rib cage. They felt like they were on fire. Tears started streaming down my face. Why did I have to be so stupid and follow the first thing that comes to mind. Maybe Dan was already back at the hospital. And here I am...cold...broken.._Like no one cared, and no one ever will._

"Can you believe the nurse told me that microwave wasn't an onomatopoeia? Way to bring down the holiday spirits." I felt my eyes widen and the tears stop. I turn around and see...Dan. He stood there with his goofy grin and waved slightly.

"D-Dan!" I was the one choking on my tears now. I ran into his arms and cried into his chest. I felt his arms wrap around me and smile into the top of my head.

"It's ok now..." he whispered as I cried, "It's all alright." We stood there for a while just in each others embrace. Finally, I looked up and backed away to wipe my tears away.

"Dan I need to tell you-" then I saw Fayt a couple feet behind him, "Hey! Fayt!" I motioned for her to come over towards us. She still wore that gray beanie, black jacket, gray skinny jeans and that heart locket. She walked over awkwardly and stood besides me. "This is Fayt. I met her on the night I...well you know. She's actually helped me get through a lot of this mentally. Like she was my conscience or Something. Oh and Fayt, this is Dan. My...my..well best friend." Dan wore the oddest expression on his face. He then started looking in all directions.

"Phil...what are you talking about? _No one's there." _I felt as if my heart shattered into a million pieces then.

"What are you talking about? She's right here!" I pointed at her, but Dan just held that expression.

"They don't have you on any hallucinogenic medication, do they?"

"No! Dan-!"

Fayt stepped between us then.

"Phil. I guess I forgot a major part of my story, didn't I." she paused and took a deep breath, "After my crush moved away I became very depressed. The only thing that helped me move on was the memory from what he wrote on my arm and how I might be able to see him again one day. A day at school, I heard some rumors that he was coming back to visit everyone in Manchester for Christmas that year. I also over heard what hotel he was staying in.

I made a move like you did and ran to see him, though I knew I would see him in time. It was snowing and cold, but I didn't care. I was going to tell him how I felt no matter what. I was only a few minutes away when I too was hit by a car. Unfortunately, I wasn't lucky like you were and died that very evening.

At first I didn't know why you could see me that night when you were talking to one of your "Philions". No one has ever been able to see me, that's why I asked you out to coffee. I figured I'd be able to find out why. And I did. We're exactly the same and I'm suppose to help you. So...here I am."

My head started spinning. How was this all possible? These kind of things aren't suppose to happen in real life. Fayt is...actually dead? The next thing that happened was very...interesting. Suddenly Fayt looked at Dan for the first time really. Her pupils enlarged and she walked cautiously towards him. She walked around him just looking. When she was face to face with him she whispered something so quietly...I was surprised I heard it myself.

"_Daniel.._" she slowly put her hand up to his cheek and held it there. Her hand was...tangible. Dan's eyes widened as he felt the touch of her hand. Suddenly she began glowing radiantly. She gained colors and looked...alive. "_Can you see me?"_ She whispered. She was trembling. Dan nodded slowly, his eyes shrunk and he took a step back.

"Fayt..." he was shaking, "You're..."

"Alive? No. I was only granted five minutes to be seen by you once I found you. I never really though I would...I would f-" she broke down crying. Dan hugged her. I stood there watching all the while. My head felt as if it would explode. The guy Fayt loved all along was...Dan?

"Here," she backed away quickly and took off her heart locket, "We don't have much time. Please, open this." Dan took the locket in his hands. He looked at me and then back at Fayt before opening it. He pulled out a small piece of paper that was folded many times. "Read it." she offered.

_December 20th, 2003._

"_Fayt,_

_ I'm sorry I have to leave before Christmas. I would have loved to get to know you better. The other girls always were around and made it so difficult. I'll be visiting again in a couple of months. Hopefully we can meet up. I don't know why, but I always felt like being around you. I'll never forget the day under the bleachers. I hope the guy you told me about will come to his senses and realize there is a wonderful girl waiting for him. I admire you for being so strong. I've heard what's happened to you In your life and couldn't imagine myself in that position. Anyways, please, please, please stop doing those things to yourself. You're too beautiful for that. I hope to see you again soon. _

_Love, Dan."_

"You kept this.." Dan whispered, "And wandered all this time looking for me?" he was starting to cry now.

"Yeah..." the wind blew, ruffling the snow all around, "Too bad I can't be around longer. These things happen for a reason though. I'm happy I finally found you." she began fading then.

"Fayt!" I called out.

"It's ok, Phil. I want to thank you too. Without meeting you, I would have never found Dan. Plus, you're a really sweet guy. I'm glad the person I loved will end up with you.." she winked and disappeared.

Dan and I just stood there, taking it all in.

"I can't believe what just happened..." he breathed.

"Neither can I. She's an amazing girl."

"Yeah..." we both looked up to the sky. The snow started falling more now. "Fayt..." we both said.

"Ah!" I gasped and grabbed my ribs. I forgot about the pain.

"C'mon, we should get you back to the hospital." he held his hand out for me to take.

"Wait...I need to tell you something before we go."


	6. In The End

"Can't it wait? You're in nothing but a hospital gown with broken ribs in the snow. Why couldn't you just wait for me to get back anyways?" Dan smiled.

"No...I have to tell you here." I motioned to the bus stop and lamp post. He gave a confused look.

"The place we first met? Why?"

My heart nearly stopped when it finally occurred to me that this was happening. I was going to tell Dan how I have felt about him all this time, no matter what the out come may be. One thing that Fayt taught me was to tell someone your feelings before it's to late. I didn't care about his relationship with Nami at that moment. All I cared about was focusing on how to tell him.

"Because this place is important to us. It's the place that our lives sort of changed. All that time we just talked online and this place is where we met face to face. I want this to be the place I tell you this." I was shaking, but to my surprise my voice kept strong.

"Phil, what is it?"

"I've been keeping this to myself for so long...I tried so hard to just forget about it. But, part of me hoped that you would just realize and feel the same way...then Nami came and made everything so hard."

"Come on...what are you getting at?"

"Dan, I...I..**.**_**I love you."**_

I don't know how my expression looked when I said it-probably like I was trying really hard to just say it- but his was a mix of shock and...relief? We stood there for a moment before he walked closer to me and hugged me. I stood limp in his arms as I tried to comprehend if this was really happening. He was gentle because of my ribs.

"Dan...?" I choked out. He breathed out and smiled.

"Yes?"

"Well...I don't really know what's happening." Dan took a step back and looked at the floor. "Dan...?"

"I haven't told you what happened with Nami yet, have I?" I shook my head no. "Well, while you were in the hospital I refused to leave. I was always by your side in fear that something bad would happen. Nami was really supportive the first two days, but then she got impatient with it. She was complaining about how I cared about you more than her and didn't care about her needs. We started fighting then. Getting to the point, she stormed out of the room and said some really horrible things. So I couldn't care less about her."

"Oh...I'm sorry. I've always been a burden on you, haven't I?"

"You a burden? You're the person that makes my life worth while, Phil. When I yell at you for leaving the cabinets in the kitchen open, when I yell at you for sucking at video games...I mean those kiddingly. Inside I'm laughing at how much of a klutz you are."

I must have looked like such an idiot then. My face must have been bright red. "Wait...Dan. Why are you down here anyways? When I got here, you weren't here and you left before I did."

"I had to go get something for someone that means a lot to me. I planned on telling them something tonight, but they actually beat me to it."

"Huh?"

"Here." He pulled a small black box out of his jacket pocket and tossed it at me to catch. I looked down at it in my hands and back at him. "Well, go on."

I hesitantly opened it. I nearly dropped it when I saw what was written on the note inside.

"_**I love you.**"_

I read aloud. I couldn't keep the tears from streaming down my face then. "Why? How..." I choked out.

"It all started when we first began talking online. I thought you were an amazing guy and was really happy when I found out I get to live with you. Over time I figured out I was developing feelings that were more than friendship for you. I was surprised-I mean, I never thought I would fall for a guy in my life- but I did. I was so surprised that I thought if I started dating women I would forget about it. I tried so hard to have a good relationship with Nami. But all the while I was thinking about you, looking at her like I would look at you. I didn't understand. On that night her and I fought...I was happy. I could finally be with the person I loved all along..." he trailed off and looked at me with those brown eyes.

He leaned in then and kissed me. His left hand was placed gently on my right side of my head. I felt as if I was soaring-all my pain went away. When he leaned back, he smiled.

"Well, we should get you back to the hospital now before your condition gets even worse." he held my hand in mine as we walked back. I realized as we walked away, that the old lamp post by the bus stop had finally stopped flickering.

-Days later back at their flat.-

"_Daaaaan!_" I yelled from inside my bedroom, "_Why are there pancakes everywhere!_" I had just woken up to see that he had thrown at least forty pancakes everywhere in my bedroom.

"I made it up to you and made you pancakes!...even though you burnt mine last time..." I heard him from inside the living room. I stretched and got out of bed. When I got in the living room, Dan was spread on the couch with his laptop.

"What are you doing?" I yawned and poured myself a cup of coffee.

"Checking Twitter. People seem to be upset about Nami, but want to know about you and I now, haha."

"You've told them?" I nearly choked.

"Are you crazy? No, not yet. They would lit-ra-lee all implode and the Fanfictions would just get weirder." he laughed. It was barely 9am in Manchester and the sun was just beginning to rise. I walked over to the window and stared out into the city.

"Do you know what day it is today, Dan?" there was a brief silence.

"Uhh...well no-"

"Just kidding. It's Throw-A-Totoro-At-Dan Day!" I grabbed the nearby Totoro and threw it at Dan-nearly causing him to fall off the couch.

"Really!" his voice did that really adorable high-pitched thing. I walked over to him.

"Yes, really." I kissed the top of his head as I went to pour myself some cereal. He stood up and pulled me back into the living room area.

"What is it nowww?" he pulled a larger black box out of underneath a pillow on the couch.

"Here."

"Dan! What's with all the presents?"

"Just open it!"

I carefully opened it and inside were two circular lockets that are to be worn as necklaces. They looked similar to Fayt's heart locket. Tears came to my eyes.

"There's nothing inside them yet. I figure we can put each others pictures in them and wear them. I didn't want to get the heart ones because I didn't want to look too weird." he joked at the last part. "Plus, with how much our situation connects to Fayt...I felt it was right to do."

I nodded and closed the lid gently. "Thanks." I hugged him.

So in the end, everything did work out. Dan and I are together, Fayt can finally get the peace she deserves, our 'Phans' don't know about us...yet, and as for Nami, well she made a fool of herself on the internet by making a hate video on Dan. Now she has fangirls tracking her down.

It still is unbelievable to this day on how I was so depressed one moment and now I can't be any happier. Speaking about happiness...I wonder how Dan will react when he finds out I put salt in his tea. Life with Dan now is definitely going to be amusing.

**Thank you all so much for reading! Of course I do not own Dan or Phil or Totoro, haha. Please leave reviews, they really help out a lot! I'm thinking about making an extra chapter about them going on vacation, but I don't want to if you guys didn't enjoy these chapters. Now we wait for Dan and Phil to admit their love for each other in real life (:**

**Love, ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl.  
**


	7. Well Needed Vacation

**Hey guys! Wow, I never expected so many people to like the previous chapters and leave such great reviews. Haha, well you guys asked for it, so here it is. The first chapter to continue the story. You guys are awesome. (Sorry this chapter is so short, I promise the other chapters will be much longer.)**

**Love always, ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl. **

"So remember to give the cactus farm three droplets of water a day, alright?" I instructed a friend of mine, PJ. Two good friends of Dan and I's-Chris and Pj- were going to be watching our flat while we go on a vacation. Dan and Chris were in the living room.  
" Yeah. So...you and Dan gonna share a room on the. cruise?" PJ asked. Dan and I decided to tell only PJ and Chris about our relationship so far. Silence echoed in awkwardness for a second.  
"Uh, err...probably." I stared at the floor as my face turned red. It's been a month since Dan and I started dating, but it still feels a bit odd talking about it. I wonder if Dan feels the same.  
"That's cool. Do you need help carrying the luggage at all? Cause Chris can help with that." PJ said the last part louder.  
"WHAAAT." Chris whined from the living room.  
"Yeah, carry my luggage, slave! Muahaha." Dan laughed. "Anyways, Phil we should head off soon, no?" he called in his beautiful British accent. Of course, I had the same accent, but something about his voice made me feel happy. PJ and I walked to the living room to see them standing there.  
Dan was wearing white shorts (they were originally white skinny jeans but he cut them to below his knee slightly.) and his ever-famous gray shirt that read 'Howl' across the front. He had his sunglasses in his hand and he looked ready for our cruise vacation.

"Sooo, we're gonna be staying here the four days you guys are gone?" Chris asked as he balanced one of the couch pillows on his head. Dan facepalmed and slapped the pillow away. "Heey!"

"Yeah you are. Feel free to watch tv and whatnot too. Oh, and Mr. Michaelis is missing his cat, so if you see it, he's in the apartment room next door. That should be it...Dan wanna add anything?"

"Just stay out of my room. That's all." he shrugged and fiddled with the handle on his suitcase.

"What are you hiding, Daniel?" PJ pried with a smile. Chris nodded behind him, adding a "Yeah!"

"...Uh, nothing. I just don't want you in there. We should be going now, Phil." he said quickly and grabbed my arm, pulling me out of our flat. "Stay out of my room!" he called behind him, our luggage in his hands, as we ran to the lift.

"Dan...? Are you OK?"

"Yup, fine, fine." he said as he panted. "This lift is taking a long time to arrive. It needs to HURRY THE HELL UP." I put my hand on his shoulder

"Calm down...Dan, what's wrong? You can tell me." he sighed and nodded. He looked up from the ground and seemed calmer.

"I know I can, Phil." he smiled, "But I just think it'll be better if I told you later." I nodded and smiled back at him. The lift opened and we stepped in. Just as the doors were closing, we see Chris and PJ running towards us.

"Have fuuuun!"

"Take pictuuuuures!" Dan and I laughed and waved them off. The lift brought us down to the first floor of the building and the whole way down, I felt safe and happy. I looked to my right to see Dan smiling and staring into oblivion.

"What are you thinking about?" I chuckled.

"Nothing in particular. I'm just really excited for us to get away. And we're going on a boat! How cool is that!" he did a little dance.

"Yep! And for a whole four days too!"

"Woo!"

The lift doors opened then and the light from the lobby just enhanced the moment. A whole four days of Dan and I on a cruise, nothing else. We walked to our car and put our luggage in the trunk. Then again, is it going to be awkward? We have been dating a month, but we're not really sure of how to show our affection without that awkward feeling in the beginning.

"Ready?" Dan sat in the drivers seat; the car started.

"Yep!" I rolled all of the windows down. For Manchester, it was pretty nice weather today. He stepped on the gas and we sped along to the train station. I stared out of the window watching the sky as we drove. Suddenly I felt his hand gently hold mine as we stopped at a red light. I looked up at him and he just looked forward at the light, slightly blushing. I laughed a little to lighten the mood, and he laughed a bit too. This vacation is just what we need.

**Quick question! **

**I have been writing in the POV of Phil all this time. Since this is a continuation from the actual story, would you like to see Dan's POV also? I can't really decide. Please tell me in a review or PM? Thanks so much! (:**


	8. Sweet and Innocent

"Do you think Chris and PJ will be alright? We didn't forget anything, right?" I asked Dan as we boarded the train. He insisted on carrying both of our luggage. Even though he doesn't have much muscle, he held the suitcases on both of his shoulders and walked confidently ahead of me.

"Yeah, they'll be fine. Unless PJ finds out we have animal crackers in the cupboard. Oh god." he threw our luggage up into the compartment above our seats. "They should really get a doctor to consult him about his unhealthy obsession with those." we both sat down. I laughed, covering my mouth with my hand partially to cover my tongue that always managed to peek out when I smiled or laughed. I hated it.

The train wasn't very crowded and was actually pretty peaceful. It slowly started and before we knew it, we were off. I leaned my head against the cold glass of the window and stared out into the sunset. We would be arriving pretty late for our first night on the cruise. The train was silent- with the occasional rattle of the train and silent mumbles among other passengers- but it was nice. The train picked up speed and as we passed trees and signs, the shadows from the sunset danced along the train. About twenty minutes had passed and I had guessed Dan had fallen asleep since he was so quiet. I turned my head to the left slowly and my suspicion was correct.

His head was tilted to the side and his mouth hung open slightly. He was faced my way and my heart skipped a beat when it occurred to me that maybe he was watching me before he fell asleep. I leaned back in my seat and decided it would be best to get some sleep too.

**-Back in their flat with Chris and PJ-**

"PJ, I'm hungry!" Chris whined and flopped about on the couch. It was around dinner time and Dan and Phil didn't have much in their fridge that could be made into a meal. PJ had gone through just about everything in the kitchen and still couldn't think of anything to make. He sat down next to his friend feeling defeated and sighed.

"Yeah. You would have thought there would be a lot of junk food. This is Dan and Phil we're talking about. Shouldn't there be Maltesers or something?"  
he tossed around the Totoro he had found next to the couch. Chris rolled onto the floor like a slug and laid there.

"Dan would never leave his Maltesers out in the open. They're probably in his room-" he stopped, remembering Dan's only rule before leaving. "Waaa! But PJ, we'll starve! This is a matter of life or death! If that room is the only room with food in it, we have no choice." Chris declared and jumped to his feet, striking a pose. PJ pondered the idea.

"Hmm...well I guess you do have a point." he said as his chin rested on his fist. Chris started jumping around.

"Yeah! Then let's go! C'mon!" he pulled PJ's arm and dragged him off to before Dan's room. They stood before the door feeling a sudden tension. The air thickened and they began to sweat.

"Well, this is it." PJ gulped. Chris nodded and his hand slowly reached for the doorknob.

"Here goes..."

**-Boarding the Cruise Ship-**

"Dan, get back here!" I chased after him up to the entrance to the ship. "Give it!" We both stood there, catching our breaths. He chuckled and stretched and finally let out a long yawn.

"Muaha. But, fine." he tossed the small plushie back to me. He had found hidden wombat in my luggage while carrying it. "So shall we head to our room?" he suggested. I nodded and we walked up the ramp to the huge cruise ship and went to the lobby.

"Names?" the woman at front desk asked.

"Dan Howell and Phil Lester." Dan spoke, pulling out the tickets and his ID. I looked around the lobby. It was warm and inviting. Tans and browns covered most of the room while hints of red and white accented it. A huge chandelier hung in the center of the room and everything looked expensive and made me feel like royalty. Already it was nearly 9pm and the boat would be departing soon. Weird how it would depart so late, but according to the pamphlet there would be fireworks to kick off the cruise. I looked to Dan who was also looking around as the lady looked over our information.

"Everything is so...brown." he joked.

"Ah, alright. You're all set. You two will be on the 3rd floor in room 'Hope'." Dan cut her off.

"Room 'Hope'? The rooms have names?"

"Yes they do, sir. Just something to add to the cruise to make it more enjoyable. Here are your pass cards to attend all of the activities. The ship has four stories. Our restaurant can be found on the second, pool on the third, spa on the first and shuffle board and various other activities are often found on the fourth. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask. Enjoy your stay." and with that she went back to work. Dan picked up one of the schedules near the desk.

"Well, the ship departs in about ten minutes and the fireworks follow. Wanna go put our things away and then go to the fourth floor to watch the show?" he asked, looking over the paper in front of him.

"Sounds good. Let me help you carry the luggage this time." I insisted. He shook his head.

"Nope!" he put both suitcases on his shoulders. Maybe it was my imagination, but did he wince? We walked to the lift on the far end of the lobby and hit the button for the third floor. Five minutes later we found ourselves in front of our room. Dan unlocked the door and we headed inside.

The room was simple. The color scheme black, white and a lime green. It had a couch and a decent sized television (though not sure we need one), a small bathroom with the usual toiletries you would find in a hotel and two queen sized beds along the longer wall. I felt a little bit relieved seeing there were two. Dan and I had never slept in the same bed yet. We did fall asleep on the couch together once, but that was different. I looked at him, searching his face for any hint at what he was thinking—nothing. After putting our things away we felt a jolt in the ship.

"Must be departing now. Let's head for the 4th floor now, no?"

"Let's go!" I cheered and we went back out into the hallway. I began to wonder what the fireworks would be like. Would they be romantic, or would be just stand there awkwardly. We haven't had a exactly a 'proper kiss' since that night we confessed to each other. What a crazy night that was. I looked to Dan and stared at the locket he wore around his neck. Ever since then, we wear our matching lockets everyday in remembrance of Fayt and each other.

"What do you wanna do after the fireworks?" I asked. Dan did a little dance as we walked to indicate he was thinking.

"Hmm, well I'm actually sort of tired. If we go to sleep after we can wake up earlier and get a head start." he replied.

"That works." I paused, "Err, what bed did you want?" I asked awkwardly.

Dan sensed it and got just as awkward.

"The one on the left works.."

"Ok." Why is everything so awkward around him now? Before we knew of each others true feelings, everything flowed much better. I shook it off. We were gonna have fun and nothing was going to stop that.

**-With Chris and PJ-**

"Ahh..." Chris squeaked as he slowly turned the doorknob to Dan's bedroom.

"Hurry! The tension is killing me!" PJ yelled impatiently.

"It's locked."

"_What!_ We went through that just for it to be locked?"

"I guess so. I wonder what's so important in there that Dan would have to lock his door..."

"Whatever. We can just order food then."

"But PJ!" Chris cried, "Do you know what this means!"

"That we have to spend money..?"

"No! That we have to find out what's in Dan's bedroom. He won't be back for four days-that's plenty of time."

"Hmmm, it would give us something to do." he thought aloud. "Fine," he finally said, "But you're paying for dinner."

**-Back with Dan and Phil-**

We now were on the fourth floor along with all the other passengers waiting for the fireworks. The night smelled crisp and a bit like Dan's cologne. I observed Dan as he leaned against the railing. He was staring off into the night sky.

"The stars are beautiful, huh?" I leaned against the rail besides him. His eyes danced as he kept staring at the sky.

"Yeah. Hey, Phil?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever think Fayt is watching us?" I felt my heart nearly stop. I took a deep breath and looked down at the floor. Though Fayt crosses my mind everyday, it was a surprise to hear her name.

"I'm...I don't know to be honest. What do you think?"

"I think she does for her own entertainment." he laughed. "She must be bored with us. We're not very interesting."

"True." I mumbled and stared back up at the sky. Suddenly I felt his hand slip into mine. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. I could tell he was trying to get past this awkward stage we were at, so I should too. All of a sudden a huge boom came from above us. I looked up to see a red firework had exploded and was falling delicately as more went off.

"Whoa..." I said under my breath. Dan started to laugh.

"What if there are birds up there right now, haha."

"You would, Dan." l grinned and playfully slapped him. I searched his face for what he could be thinking but all I saw was him smiling as he watched the fireworks. I decided to just enjoy the moment and snuggled back into him. Once I relaxed, I felt so perfect. Maybe this whole awkward thing was just inside my head. There was so much confidence in me at that moment and everything couldn't be better.

"Dan...kiss me." I looked up into his glimmering almond eyes as he looked back into mine.

"I thought you would never ask." he smiled and leaned towards me. Suddenly his cellphone went off. "For fuck's sake.." he muttered and pulled the phone from his back pocket. "It's Chris." he face-palmed. "I'll just ignore it-"

"No," I interrupted, "What if it's something important?" Dan sighed and answered the call.

"What!" he said angrily.

**-With Chris and PJ-**

"Heeey, Dan." Chris said. He had the phone on speaker.

"..._Well?_"

"Oh, well PJ and I were wondering if you had tools anywhere. Like a crowbar, sledgehammer, anything like that."

"What in the bloody hell would you need those for!" Chris looked to PJ for help.

"Mice! Mice everywhere! Ahh." PJ yelled.

"_There are mice in our flat?_ What the hell have you two done in the six hours we've been gone? Anyways, if we do, they'd be in the closet by the door."

"Ok, bye." Chris quickly hung up. PJ was already searching in the closet. "We will have Dan's room opened in no time." he said evilly.

"I still can't believe I'm helping you with this." PJ sighed.

**-Back With Dan and Phil-**

"We have mice in our flat?" I cried. Dan nodded.

"Apparently." the fireworks were over now. "Damn them and their horrible timing..." he crossed his arms.

"Yeah..." I paused, thinking of how to make things better, but nothing came to mind. "Well, we should head off to sleep now. At least then tomorrow we can have a good start." Dan agreed and we headed back to our room.

We changed into our pajamas and got ready to sleep. Dan flopped on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He looked so vulnerable, it was adorable. I ignored to urge to go and jump on him; now wasn't the time.

'You ok?" I asked as I went and got into my bed.

"Everything's fine. I'm gonna go to bed now, so would you mind if I shut off the light?"

"No, go ahead." I got under my covers and just lied there in a ball. I felt safe like that for some reason. He turned off the light and got back into bed.

"Good night, Phil."

"Night, Dan."

_-Hours later-_

_3:46am_

"Huh..?" I awoke suddenly. I looked at the clock besides the bed, it was the middle of the night. Something was around my waist. I looked down to see it was someone's arm. I nearly yelled until I realized it was Dan's due to all the wristbands and bracelets. Then it finally clicked. I turned slowly and saw him laying there. I smiled. He looked so peaceful when he slept.

"Dan." I whispered.

"Hmmm." he said in his sleep and his arm tightened around me, as if not wanting to let go. As much as I wanted to stay like that forever, I needed to know.

"Daaan." I called again. This time his eyelashes fluttered as they slowly fluttered open.

"Oh. You're awake." he yawned.

"Yeah. Are you ok?" I sat up.

"Well, not exactly. I forgot to do something important."

"What did you forget?" a grin sneaked over his face and his eyes looked into mine.

"_To tell you that I love you before I went to bed_." he smiled one of those goofy Dan grins. My eyes widened and I'm sure my face was bright red.

"Awww, well I love you too. And sorry if I've been awkward..."

"I'm just as awkward, Phil. We just have to learn not to be with each others help." and with that sentence, I remembered why I love Dan so much. With just a sentence he can change how you're feeling completely.

"Yeah..." I whispered as I looked into his eyes. Before I knew it, we were leaning towards each other and our lips were inches apart. Slowly our lips met and it just felt...right. It was sweet and innocent, but that was our love. I knew I had found the perfect one for me.

We broke the kiss and smiled. "Well, let's get some more sleep for tomorrow." I yawned.

"Can I stay with you?" Dan said, his eyes diverting to the ground.

"Of course." I grinned. His arms wrapped back around me and we fell asleep in each others embrace.

**That was by far the longest chapter I've written, haha. Sorry for it moving so slowly along, I promise there are surprises ahead. (Hint hint) ;D Please, if you have any suggestions, tell me! What do you guys think of Chris and PJ's part of it? I figured I'd experiment. Oh, and for a heads up, next chapter will be in Dan's POV. However, only one chapter since the story does revolve around Phil's. Just for a taste of what Dan's feeling. ANYWAYS. This is getting way too long. Hope you enjoy. **

**Love Always, ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl.**


	9. I'm Sorry, Phil

***if you're getting an email notification for this, sorry. It's not exactly new content, I just changed what happened with Nami and some things with Chris and Pj.**

_The Next Morning_

_10:02am_

I awoke that morning to the sun peeking in through the small window next to our bed. _Our bed, _I thought. Last night's events played back in my head. I wonder if it occurred to Phil that I just wanted to lie next to him; I needed his comfort. I sat up a bit and stretched.

"Ah-" I let out a small gasp for air. I had hurt my shoulders while carrying both of our luggage. I just wanted to show Phil that he could depend on me, I guess. I looked down at Phil who slept peacefully besides me. His ebony colored hair, his soft skin, the way he scrunched his face like a lion in his sleep-I loved it all. "Phil," I whispered and shook his shoulder slightly, "time to wake up."

He turned towards me and his eyelids slowly fluttered open until his crystal blue eyes stared back. He looked confused a second and then smiled.

"Good morning, Dan." he put on a goofy grin. He sat up and started to get out of bed. "So, what should we do first?" he was already looking through his clothes.

"Not so fast," I pulled him back, "The point of a vacation is to relax isn't it? Let's just enjoy this fine morning."

"But Dan...they're having a pancake breakfast that ends at ten-thirty..." he pouted and stared down at the floor.

"You're fucking worried about pancakes right now?" I teased him jokingly.

"There are chocolate chip ones!"

"Phil!"

"Kidding, kidding!" he smiled and covered his mouth as he laughed. I always wondered why he did that. I meant to ask him, but I got caught up in the moment.

I pulled him towards me more and his head rested on my chest; his arm around my waist. I stared at the ceiling and just enjoyed the moment. Occasionally his head would snuggle more and more into my chest. It was like he was a kitten.

"Hey, Phil." I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"You still snore really loud." I smiled and kissed the top of his head.

**-With Chris and PJ-**

"PJ! PJ! Wake up!" Chris jumped up and down on the couch next to where PJ was sleeping. "I think I'm on to something!" The previous night they had order lots of take out food and accidentally fell asleep after eating; so trying to break into Dan's room was pushed to the next morning.

"Whaaat?" PJ muttered, he had put a pillow over his head in attempt to block out Chris's yells that early in the morning.

"Get up!" he yanked PJ's arm and particially dragged him to Dan's door. "Look, there are tiny little wires around the door hinge, so if we open it they'll snap and he'll know." PJ inspected closer and confirmed his friend was correct.

"Damn, he's smart." he pondered more, "There has got to be something incredibly cool or scary behind this door." Chris added a "Yeah!"

"Well, he made it to where if we open the door in any way, the wires will snap. The only way to get past it would be to take the hinges off...but even then, the wires would be messed up."

"I know! I know! Let's get in through the window!"

"Chris,"

"Yeah, PJ?"

"We're on the thirty-seventh floor."

"And?"

"Chris, we would die."

Chris stared back a moment; confused. Finally it clicked. "Awww!" he whined in defeat and sunk to the floor. PJ face palmed and paced the flat.

"There has _got_ to be a way to get in there."

**-With Dan and Phil-**

"Dan, no! I'm serious!" Phil laughed as he stood by the edge of the indoor pool, inches from falling in. It was nearly noon now, so we decided to go for a swim.

"I'll get in myself. Just don't push m- waa!" I pushed him into the crystal clear water then and he let out that adorable cry.

"Muahaha." I danced in place as I laughed. Suddenly he pulled me in by my ankles in after him. The cool water engulfed me as I fell into the water. "Phil!" I laughed and splashed the water at him.

"Dan!" he imitated me and laughed. Before we knew it we were having a splash war. Lucky for us, no one else was near us in the pool.

We spent about an hour at the pool and then decided to go and see what else the cruise had to offer. "Wanna go get some coffee in the cafe by the restaurant?" he suggested. Him and his coffee, I swear. I agreed and we went down to the first floor of the ship to the cafe. He ordered his usual hazelnut coffee and I ordered some tea. We sat by this cool arched window that had a view of a patio with more tables for the cafe outside. There were brightly colored flowers everywhere and it smelled fresh.

We sat there for a while enjoying our beverages when suddenly I got a text message. "If it's Chris again..." I shook my head and read the name from who it was from. My eyes widened from disbelief.

"What's wrong, Dan?" Phil asked. His brows furrowed in concern.

"...It's from Nami." I muttered. He just stared back with a blank expression until his now dull blue eyes found the floor. "Tch, what the hell could she want?" I said and gritted my teeth. I opened the message and rolled my eyes. "It just says to call her. Why would I?" I laughed. Phil mustered a smile but I could tell he was taken aback by the name.

I haven't talked to her at all since the night she ran out from the hospital. We had gotten in a fight about how I cared for Phil more than her (which I did to be quite honest). She has no idea I'm dating Phil now.

"I wonder what she could want." Phil took a sip of his coffee.

"I have no idea..." I trailed off. "Well, what do you wanna do next?" I attempted to lighten the mood. Phil pulled the schedule for the activities out and his eyes scanned over it.

"How about shuffleboard on the fourth floor? That starts in ten minutes." he asked.

"That works. Let's get this vacation started!"

Phil and I had a great time with all of the activities. From shuffleboard we went and won the indoor laser tag competition and from there we attended karaoke...which we should have won in my opinion. We sung the Titanic theme; how could we have lost? Anyways, the day went by pretty quickly. It was already dinner time. Tiki torches lit up the ship for "Hawaiian Night" for tonight's theme. Phil and I walked past all of them to the restaurant. It was nearly 8pm and the night fell upon us. I opened the door for him as we entered. We were quickly seated and given menus.

I looked across the table at Phil who was browsing through the menu. He looked gorgeous-he wore his blue t-shirt with the penguin on a jetpack and some white shorts to his knees. His hair a bit messy from the day's happenings, but it looked good. I didn't bother to tell him that Nami had been texting me all day telling me to call her; I didn't want him to worry.

"Dan, what are you going to have? I think I'll get the Hamburger of DOOM." he said and motioned an explosion with his hands.

"They actually have a hamburger of doom...?" I raised a brow. He laughed; again covering his mouth.

"No, it just says it has everything on it. It should be called hamburger of DOOM in my opinion." he smiled and went back to looking at the menu. I decided to ask him then.

"Hey Phil, why do you always-" suddenly my phone rang. _Damn, I could have swore I set it on silent, _I thought.

"Is it Chris again?" Phil asked innocently. I looked at the caller ID and nearly threw my phone is surprise. I wish so badly it could have been.

"No..." I muttered. Phil understood then.

"Answer it. I won't mind." he smiled, but I still saw that hint of hurt in his eyes. I shook my head.

"But I don't want to." I put it simply. Nami was my past and no doubt that trouble would come from me answering the call.

"But, Dan. You can't avoid her forever. Just tell her to leave you alone." He was right. As much as I didn't want to, I tapped the 'answer' button.

"Yo." I answered.

"Dan, what the hell? Have you not been getting my texts?" she said sassily through the phone.

"Sorry. Been busy." I was going to keep this as short as possible. Hearing her voice again was enough to make me want to scratch my eyes out.

"That's not a fucking excuse. Did you not care to even worry about the 'IMPORTANT' I wrote in caps?"

"Probably. When people type in caps over text, it tends to be a bit annoying."

"You know what else is annoying, Daniel? When you find out you have something that is your ex-boyfriend's." she said coldly. It nearly made me shiver. Phil was staring at me concerned now.

"What could you possibly have that's mine? I never gave you anything."

"Hmm, I don't know. _Maybe your child_." My eyes shot open and it got harder and harder to breathe. Phil was reaching for my hand now which I accepted and held on to.

"What did you just say...?" my voice broke.

_"Dan, I'm, pregnant."_

My heart stopped and I was sure I looked as a pale as a ghost. "What's wrong?" Phil mouthed. My body refused to do anything but just sit there and stare.

"Where are you?" Nami asked. I don't know why, but I hung up the phone then and just continued to stare into nothing. Why? Why is this happening? It isn't fair! I'm finally with the person I've loved all along, and now it is being taken away from me? Damn it! There's no way that I'd give up being with Phil. Not for the world. I buried my head in my arms and cried.

"Dan? Dan, what's wrong?" Phil squeezed my hand tighter. "Dan!" I couldn't do anything but lie my head there and allow my tears to run down my face. "_Dan, please!_"

I slowly sat up, my face red and swollen from the tears, and whispered "_I'm going to be a father._"

**-With Chris and PJ-**

"One, two, three!" Chris yelled as they both pried at the door hinge with some tools they had found in the hall closet. "Damn, no use." they tossed the tools aside and just sat there.

"Wanna take a break and have a Buffy marathon? Phil has all of the seasons on dvd." Chris suggested. Right when PJ was about to answer, the front door flew open.

"Shit! Hide!" PJ whispered harshly and dragged Chris behind the couch.

"Dan?" It was a girls voice. Chris and Pj exchanged glances.

"Who the fuck is that?" Pj whispered.

"One of Dan's whores?" Chris asked nonchalantly. PJ just sighed and shook his head. The girl called out again and continued to look around the flat. "Should we say hello?" Pj shook his head vigorously.

"Dan, look I'm sorry, ok? I didn't plan for this to happen!" she tried his bedroom, but it was obviously locked. She paused a second. "What the hell am I doing? He's obviously not here. Can't believe the fucking idiot actually believes I'm pregnant." she chuckled under her breath before leaving. Chris and Pj jumped up.

"Holy shit." Pj stared wide-eyed back at his friend.

"Holy shit is right. What kind of person admits their evil plan out loud? Like, what the hell?"

"This means she's already told Dan...Chris! What if he does something rash, like, break it off with Phil! We can't let that happen!" Pj quickly pulled out his phone and dialed Dan's number. One ring...two rings...three rings...

"What if he and Phil are having sex?"

"Chris, just shut up-"

"Hey, peasant!- except if this is my mum in that case...hi. You've reached Dan's voicemail. If you could just leave a message, cool, I probably won't call you back though. Unless it is a dire situation, if in which it is, press eight."

Pj presses eight.

"Wow did you actually press eight? This is a voicemail, you fucking idiot. Anyway, I'm bored of this already. Ciao." This tone beeps.

"Dan, first of all, wow you sassy bastard. And second, answer your god damn phone! Don't do anything stupid! Just call Chris and I back, we found out some interesting stuff-"

"Tell Phil we said hiiiii!" Chris smiled and leaned against Pj's head. Pj pushed him away awkwardly before hanging up. "What if he sees it's you and thinks 'ew Pj like what the fuck that guy looks like a chinchilla died on his head and then tried to blow dry it'; he wants to talk to someone interesting, Pj! Let me see the phone." Chris took the phone from Pj and blocked their number before calling Dan. "Watch how it's done."

With Dan and Phil

"...What?" Phi barely got out. His voice trembled and he couldn't even bring himself to look into Dan's eyes.

"Nami, she...she just told me. I didn't want this to happen, honest! Phil, I love you and-"

_Good Morning, Sunshine_

_I hope that you're well._

_Honey, I missed you, _

_last night when night fell_

"That's the second time someone called, jesus christ. Did you change my ringtone?" Dan asked. Phil still stared blankly at the table. "Who the hell is this number?"

"Just answer it." Phil murmured.

"Hello?" Dan spoke.

"Hey, my homie! It's Will!" a deep, American voice spoke loudly.

"Will?"

"This is a story all about how, your life got switched, turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you a story about how your ex-girlfriend lied to you and said she's having a baby you'd have to care...for." There was a slight pause. "Ok, I know the last bit was rough, but it had to rhyme and-"

"She _lied?" _

"Hey, yo, Carlton!" There was some shuffling on the other line and: "Why do I have to be Carlton?" Another person cleared their throat.

"Yes...you see we heard her say it herself. We were, uh, chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool. Planning to break into your room-"

"_What?_"

"Psh psh...pshhhh...kidding, homie. Anyway, my theory is that she said that just to get back together with you."

"This is ridculous."

"Redonkulous." Chris corrected and in attempt to grab the phone from Pj, his finger brushed the end call button and the call was gone. "Look at what you dun-diddly-do-dun-did." Chris shook his head. Pj leaned against Dan's door and thought.

"I hope he believes us." he hit his head against the door as he sighed. They heard a creak and watched as the door slid open.

"No way..."

"Is that a..."

* * *

**I wonder if any of you got the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reference, haha.**

**Love Always, **

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


	10. Fin

Dan set his phone on the table and smiled widely at Phil. "What is it?" he asked. Dan took his hands in his.

"Nevermind." he kissed him quickly, "I just had the strangest call of my life, but it makes sense. Phil, she's not pregnant." Phil's smile was just as big now.

"You're not kidding?" he stood as did Dan and they hugged tightly.

"Not at all. I say we get some stuff to eat and head back to our room?" Dan suggested and Phil agreed. They walked hand-in-hand back to their room and collapsed on the bed.

"Dan?" Phil yawned.

"Hm?"

"I love you, too."

.x.x.x.

The Next Day

"What the fuck is Razzleberry?" Dan questioned as they looked over the menu for smoothies downstairs. There was a smoothie shack of sorts on the top deck that they had been wanting to check out.

"I think I'll just get strawberry banana." Phil shrugged.

"Carlton, you got the dough, right? I want a god damn smoothie." a voice sounded. Dan and Phil turned slowly to be face-to-face with Chris and Pj.

"Guys?" Phil asked, "How did you...when did you...?"

"Don't ask questions." Pj chuckled. That's when the two noticed the bag in Pj's hands. Just as Phil was about to ask what was in there, a meow emitted. Dan's eyes shot open. A cat peeked it's head out of the bag.

"You two went into my room!" he exclaimed and grabbed the bag. "I tell you not to do something, but what do you do? You do it anyway!" Just then, two cops with extremely large (probably fake) mustaches approached.

"You two...haven't seen you here before. We're going to need to check your room key please." they said to Chris and Pj.

"Hahaha..." they laughed nervously.

"Let me cuff them." the taller one whined.

"No, Anthony, we all know I'm the better cop."

Dan looked at their badges on their shirt. "...Are those plastic?"

"No! Shut up!" Chris and Pj took this as their time to run.

"What the firetruck! Ian, c'mon, after them!" the two ran off and chased them.

"Well, this isn't odd at all."

.x.x.x.

**The Last Night On Deck**

"Waa! Do we have to leave tomorrow morning?" Chris whined. For some reason, Ian and Anthony let them stay onboard. We were all in our room and Dan and I were packing.

"Yes, Chris. We're lucky we got to come along anyways. Oh, hey Dan, don't forget to get the cat from the kennel down on the first floor." Pj reminded him as he lazily hit Chris with a pillow.

"Hey!" I interrupted, "You never did tell me why you had Mr. Michaelis's cat in your bedroom." Dan slowly looked up from packing and looked to Chris and PJ. PJ got the hint and pulled Chris out of the room by his ear; Chris whining all the way. The door shut and Dan sat on the bed. "Well?" I sat next to him.

"It was suppose to be a present." he stared at the floor.

"You were going to give me our neighbors cat as a gift..?" I laughed, covering my hand to make sure he didn't see my tongue that always managed to pop out-I still hated it.

"Yes! Don't laugh! I was going to teach it to bring us food and whatnot- like a butler." he said in all seriousness. I just stared at him, trying really hard not to laugh.

"Oh...err...well thanks anyways. It was a...nice idea. But, you do realize we have to give it back, right?"

"Yeaaaah." Dan grumbled and fell flat onto his back.

"It's ok, if you really want a cat, we can buy one." I chuckled. I leaned over him and kissed his forehead.

"Hey, Phil?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do you always cover your mouth when you laugh?" he stared into my eyes as I stared back into his. I didn't really know how to answer.

"Uh...I guess I just don't like how my tongue always pops out, I guess." my eyes quickly diverted to the ground.

"Why? I think it's adorable! Like a kitten. Hey, maybe we don't need a cat if I have you." he smiled.

"Yeah, maybe." I played along. I rested my head on his chest as my arm naturally found its way around his waist. It was like nothing else in the world mattered. We fell asleep in each others embrace like the first day of the cruise.

**The Following Morning**

**Getting Off The Cruise**

"_Be careful with that!_" Dan yelled at Chris, who had the cat in its box. We were all getting off the boat onto the docks. The skies were clear and beautiful in Manchester for once. Dan handled the luggage-which he still wouldn't let me help with. Just then, I felt a cold breeze on my neck. I turned and stared back to the ship. On the top deck, I saw the girl with the cherry red hair.

"Dan, look!" we both stopped and stared back at her. The wind blew and she smiled and waved. Slowly, she faded into the Fayt we knew.

"Hey, why doesn't she have her heart locket on?" Dan asked.

"Maybe it's because she knows that I have you now." I teased him and we kissed. He smiled and we stared at her until she dissapeared completely.

"_Fayt..._" we said. All of a sudden, a loud splash sounded from behind us. We quickly turned to see Chris and PJ with their hands up and shocked expressions.

"Dan...we might have dropped the cat into the water."

"WHAT THE FU-"

"FIRETRUCK!" the two idiot cops yelled.

**xxxxxxxxx**

So here I am today. Phillip Lester, no one else. I'm in love with Daniel Howell-my Flame Prince. And even after everything we've been through, we're together. Sometimes late at night, I hear him talking to someone, but no one is there-I'm pretty sure it's Fayt. Tomorrow, we'll be telling all of the Philions and Danosaurs about us in a video. Hope that goes well! I've come to realize, that I was wrong my whole childhood. Relations with others is the key to life; they aren't a drag or any of the sort. Love is real as sure as Dan sags his pants.

_Thank you, Dan, for showing me how true and sincere love can be._

_Love, Phil. Your one and only lion._

* * *

***There is a continuation to this story now entitled Our Revelation about Dan and Phil coming out about their relationship. You can find it on my profile :)**

**Thanks so much **

**Love Always,**

**ThatOneSmoshyPhanGirl**


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